In the moment

I had to go to the ER Tuesday afternoon for some pretty rough abdominal pains. I'll try not to ramble too much about this but I was there 8 HOURS in total.

Now, keep in mind, I was hurting but not on my death bed. I've had some other health issues that I thought were contributing to the pain and when it got so bad that I was doubled over, it was time to go.

Upon check in I was sent to the RTA (rapid treatment area) where I was not allowed to bring anyone in which meant my boyfriend had to wait in the main area while I was being treated. I had my blood taken, talked to a doctor & was then shuffled to another internal waiting area for, oh, about 5 more hours (had x-rays squeezed in there somewhere) before being taken to the MAIN ER!!!

Upon my arrival there, I overhead a Dr.. talking about me and how I spent 6 hours in RTA and that my file had been misplaced.... excellent. So much for rapid treatment and efficiency.

More tests, blah blah blah, my diagnosis... and I was released...at 11:00 pm... arrival time 3:00 pm. Let me remind you... 8 HOURS!!!

Now why blog about this? Because after 5-6 hours I was ready to rip my IV out and go screaming down the hall, not to mention the half dozen or so times I was on the verge of tears, simply out of frustration.

This was definitely an experiment in self-realization as several times I had to take an internal look at myself and think, "Breathe.... take a few breaths and think yogic".

We yogi's and yogini's talk so much about living in the moment, being present, and letting go, yet we are just as vulnerable as everyone else and let things get the best of us.... it all comes down to how we CHOOSE to react.

I felt my heart rate go up, my body shaking & myself getting so edgy I thought I could literally jump out of my skin. However, even through the frustration I told myself, "Okay, so let me live in the moment... as sucky as this is, I am meant to be here... if not for my health reasons, then to simply be... here... occupying this space, encountering these people and taking care of my health. Plus, what happens if I do rip out the IV and leave? What if I start to bitch, moan & complain at the top of my lungs to anyone who will listen? Well, I'll be pissed-off, frustrated, angry, crabby AND I'll still be sick tomorrow and have to start all over again.... Breathe..."

Does that mean I enjoyed it? No. Does that mean I want to do it again? Hell no. But number one, I found out what was wrong with me and it needed to be dealt with (not life threatening by the way, just a pain... literally) and number two, I took the time to reflect inside myself during a junky situation...

and practice Yoga

xo