In the moment

I had to go to the ER Tuesday afternoon for some pretty rough abdominal pains. I'll try not to ramble too much about this but I was there 8 HOURS in total.

Now, keep in mind, I was hurting but not on my death bed. I've had some other health issues that I thought were contributing to the pain and when it got so bad that I was doubled over, it was time to go.

Upon check in I was sent to the RTA (rapid treatment area) where I was not allowed to bring anyone in which meant my boyfriend had to wait in the main area while I was being treated. I had my blood taken, talked to a doctor & was then shuffled to another internal waiting area for, oh, about 5 more hours (had x-rays squeezed in there somewhere) before being taken to the MAIN ER!!!

Upon my arrival there, I overhead a Dr.. talking about me and how I spent 6 hours in RTA and that my file had been misplaced.... excellent. So much for rapid treatment and efficiency.

More tests, blah blah blah, my diagnosis... and I was released...at 11:00 pm... arrival time 3:00 pm. Let me remind you... 8 HOURS!!!

Now why blog about this? Because after 5-6 hours I was ready to rip my IV out and go screaming down the hall, not to mention the half dozen or so times I was on the verge of tears, simply out of frustration.

This was definitely an experiment in self-realization as several times I had to take an internal look at myself and think, "Breathe.... take a few breaths and think yogic".

We yogi's and yogini's talk so much about living in the moment, being present, and letting go, yet we are just as vulnerable as everyone else and let things get the best of us.... it all comes down to how we CHOOSE to react.

I felt my heart rate go up, my body shaking & myself getting so edgy I thought I could literally jump out of my skin. However, even through the frustration I told myself, "Okay, so let me live in the moment... as sucky as this is, I am meant to be here... if not for my health reasons, then to simply be... here... occupying this space, encountering these people and taking care of my health. Plus, what happens if I do rip out the IV and leave? What if I start to bitch, moan & complain at the top of my lungs to anyone who will listen? Well, I'll be pissed-off, frustrated, angry, crabby AND I'll still be sick tomorrow and have to start all over again.... Breathe..."

Does that mean I enjoyed it? No. Does that mean I want to do it again? Hell no. But number one, I found out what was wrong with me and it needed to be dealt with (not life threatening by the way, just a pain... literally) and number two, I took the time to reflect inside myself during a junky situation...

and practice Yoga

xo

Act your age... or not

This week was spring break. The first of many to come for me as a new step mom.
I decided at the last minute to take them to one of my yoga classes and teach a "kids themed" class.
Now keep in mind, I teach adult classes. So Wednesday I announced that I would be teaching this class w/the kids and for everyone to please come join in the fun. As apprehensive as I thought they might be... I had a full house.
At the beginning of practice I had all of the adults chose what age they would be during the hour, but they had to be under the age of 11. I must admit that I was shocked at how much participation and fun everyone, including myself, had.
When was the last time you made a noise like a cow? Meowed like a cat? A dog? Did the Tarzan call and pounded your chest???
I had a group ranging in age from 9 to (my estimated guess) of early 70's and EVERYONE gave out a beautiful Tarzan call to the wild.
We get stuck in our adult lives, doing adult things, and having to feel like we are supposed to "act like an adult" shortly after our teens are over.
As I watch the kids grow, I realize the flow of life shift so dramatically but in the weirdest way. These kids are just beginning to worry about fitting in, being cool, wearing and looking a certain way, and being a part of the group. It is only when we become adults that we sometimes take the flip side of that and realize it's okay to be different (um... thank you Lady Gaga).
Being a kid can be complex, yet innocent and being an adult just seems to be, well, complex. We take the innocent out for the sake of adulthood and usually forget to put it back in.
While adult life is serious and we have to be responsible, go to work, pay our bills, and raise our children, we should not forget how to laugh, play, and have fun.
I felt amazing after yesterday's class... simply because I knew that I had brought a sense of innocence and fun back to a small group of adults... a feeling that some or all of them may have lost through the years.
So this weekend, no matter how old you are, fat you think you are, depressed you might feel, tired, sore, lazy, too busy, whatever... take just 5 minutes to run around in your yard, on your street, or in your house and act like a child. Play a game of tag, hide & seek, or Red Rover... laugh, fall, RUN, and get yourself moving like a kid... for today, right now, is your moment to LIVE ...and living includes... having fun.